A Good Girl's Guide to Murder

You killed Barney.’

Oh, but . . . what are people going to think if they see you going into Ravi Singh’s house?’

‘It’s sausage to me.’

Real men wear floral when trespassing

Andrea Bell, 17, was reported missing from her home in Little Kilton, Buckinghamshire, last Friday

An innocent life was taken and everyone in this town turned it ugly in their mouths, turned him into a villain. But if a villain can be made, then they can be unmade.

Boys are dicks

But sometimes remembering isn’t for yourself, sometimes you do it just to make someone else smile.

Their home was like the town’s own haunted house

And yet, history’s greatest minds always advised bold over safe;

hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia was the technical term for the fear of long words