Top Secret

“Keaton?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. And I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out how to get over my own bullshit before and just be your guy.”

He swallows. “Can you be now?”

“I want to. If you’ll let me try.”

When my terror eventually began to wear off, it was too late. Keaton had stopped giving me the kicked-puppy face, and he was all jazzed up for his trip to Chile. I didn’t want to complicate his life, so I let him go.

Now I miss him terribly.

“Exactly, and you need to be firm about that. Draw your line in the sand, babe. When we get back to school, you need to phone him up and say, ‘Dad, this is how it is. I’m not interning at your company this summer. I’m going to Chile to play with Shamu—’”

I snicker. And I wonder if he realizes he just called me babe. But I don’t mention it, because it’d probably send him into a panic again.

I look over with a wry grin. “Are we seriously listening to Beyoncé right now?”

He grins back, turning the volume down. “Annika shared a playlist with me on Spotify. Queen B is her number one.”

My stomach does a hot twist. For fuck’s sake. The tug of jealousy is completely unwelcome. What do I care if Keaton is still best buds with his ex-girlfriend?

Fuck me. I’m single, I’m a little depressed, and I’m very horny, with a side of sexual confusion, too.

LobsterShorts: Woke up this morning and jerked off to a pic of your abs. And then I thought—I’m jerking off to abs? Why hasn’t that bastard sent me a dick pic yet?

LobsterShorts: Woke up this morning and jerked off to a pic of your abs. And then I thought—I’m jerking off to abs? Why hasn’t that bastard sent me a dick pic yet?

LobsterShorts: I’m fresh out of lobster sex facts atm. BUT…lemme tell you about sea slugs.

SinnerThree: Omg yes. I can’t wait for this. Hold on. Let me undo my pants.

This time I snort out loud. I know he’s kidding, and I play along. Actually, I’ll do that, too. Having both our dicks out for this fun fact is so fitting.

SinnerThree: Dick’s out. All right. Slug sex. Now, baby.

LobsterShorts: OK—you ready for this?

SinnerThree: Hit me. Blow my mind.

LobsterShorts: Sea slugs have penis fights.

Dead air follows my revelation.

I see the three dots appear to indicate he’s typing. Then they disappear. Reappear. Disappear.

Finally, a message pops up.

SinnerThree: I don’t even know what to say to that. I guess… Why?? How?? Why???

Like I’ve said before, the Hayworths know how to throw a party

Last night at dinner I was thinking about you. Lots of things make me think of you, but this time it was lobsters. Remember that early text when I told you how lobsters have sex? I was sure you were going to block me just for being weird.