The Cheerleaders

“Monica,” she says, still cradling me. “Even at your worst, I love you more than life itself.”

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. “Rach, don’t do this.”

She doesn’t have much else to say to me until she pulls into my driveway and I get out of the car. “I got the triple today,” she says. “In case you were wondering.”

She nods. “Mrs. Goldberg is out today, but I have a key to her room. We can meet there. Monica? Did you hear me?”

I’m staring at the screen of my phone. The page has reloaded, but Carly Amato’s profile has disappeared and been replaced by an error message.

“What’s wrong?” Ginny asks.

I look up at her, feeling a little shell-shocked. “Carly Amato just blocked me.”

Ethan is still studying me as I hop on my bike. “Do you think it would be easier if you found out she was murdered?” he asks.

I think for a moment, the balls of my feet grazing the pavement below me.

“Only if I find who did it,” I say, kicking up the stand on my bike and pedaling into the direction of the high school.

When Ethan finally speaks, his voice is monotone. “I wasn’t in the woods at all. I was leaving your house.”

I’ll find a way to make it right.

After I have a few words with Ethan McCready.

I exhale a little. I don’t know why, but Ginny’s message buoys me and carries me all the way to lunch.

when the rest of the table had resumed conversation, laughing awkwardly, Jen saw it.

The way Ethan folded the fingers on one of his hands into the shape of a gun.

Jen thought of her friends slipping away from her and how it felt like she was hurtling toward the edge of something they couldn’t be pulled back from.

know is that my sister wouldn’t have killed herself. And if she did, why didn’t she leave a note explaining why?