Dust & A First World Problem: Two Plays

choice. I never want you to think I don’t want you around or I’m in cahoots with your Mum. I do need you. I promise. But you don’t need me right now. You need your Mum.

Are you…? Are you asking me to – ?
ELLIE: No. No… I just think it… It would be for the best. For now. And I don’t want you to ever think you’re unwelcome or unwanted, it’s just… Al, I’m so sorry –
ELLIE starts to cry.
It’s just I can’t afford to keep paying the rent for both of us. It’s been two years now and I don’t mind. Honestly I – I can’t make you work and I wouldn’t want you to, you’re not well. And I… I’m just so scared every day when I go to work of what you might do and Al, if that happened, if that ever happened Al, I’d never ever forgive myself. I wouldn’t. And oh god, I don’t wanna guilt trip you or anything, I really don’t. I just – I love you. So much. And I can’t not work. And I don’t ever want you to feel like I’m betraying you or anything because I’m not. It’s hard. It’s a hard conversation to – But your mum rang me. And we agreed. You won’t get help or go back to inpatients after what happened… That’s fine. That’s completely your choice. And I respect that choice. I never want you to think I don’t want you around or I’m in cahoots with your Mum. I do need you. I promise. But you don’t need me right now. You need your Mum.

It’s just I can’t afford to keep paying the rent for both of us. It’s been two years now and I don’t mind. Honestly I – I can’t make you work and I wouldn’t want you to, you’re not well. And I… I’m just so scared every day when I go to work of what you might do