Modern Romance

Some people say that it doesn’t matter what you text someone. If they like you, they like you. After interviewing hundreds of singles, I can scientifically confirm that this is total bullshit.

The problem, he says, is that today far too many people are making commitments that they cannot realistically honor.

If passionate love is the coke of love, companionate love is like having a glass of wine or smoking a few hits of some mild weed.

“They will talk to you and talk to you . . . until you hook up with them. And then they will act like girls. If you’re not interested in them, they will become obsessed with you. If you are interested in them, they will disappear. It’s like . . . it’s like math. It’s an equation.”

Honesty is confrontational. Crafting the “honest” message takes a lot of time and thought. And no matter how delicately you do it, it feels cold and mean to reject someone.

This experiment has made it very clear that the majority of my day is spent on my phone or laptop trying to figure out both where and with whom I am dining.

“A phone call? The WORST.”
—FEMALE FOCUS GROUP PARTICIPANT
“If you want to talk to me, you’re going to have to call me.”
—ANOTHER FEMALE FOCUS GROUP PARTICIPANT
[Dumbfounded]
—EVERY GUY IN THAT FOCUS GROUP

reward uncertainty”—in which, for instance, animals cannot predict whether pushing a lever will get them food—can dramatically increase their interest in getting a reward,

“People are stuck on what’s normal, what’s right, what’s wrong,” Pitbull said. “Maybe what’s right to you is wrong to me . . . What counts at the end of the day is everybody being happy.”

Savage believes that cheating is tempting for just about everyone and that for some people it’s simply too hard to resist. Rather than succumbing to urges we all have, cheating behind our partner’s back, getting caught, and destroying the relationship, Savage thinks we’d be better off acknowledging that we have these desires and deciding how to deal with them—as a couple.