Wish You Were Here

When a person is ready to fall in love, it happens fast. There’s no looking back or in between to find empty space where water can put itself to freeze, to crack the two of you apart. There is no void. There’s no weighing of options or analysis of pros and cons. Everything is reduced to feelings and emotions and actions that don’t need explanation or justification.

You know when you’re looking at someone and you can’t help but smile at how oblivious they are to their own charm? That’s what was happening to me, and it was making me feel . . . happy. Euphoric. Something indescribable. It was like we already knew each other, like we had met in a previous life. Memories that didn’t exist began exploding in my mind like fireworks.

I’m a human, walking around this lonely planet, taking one breath after another, trying to decide what’s right and what’s wrong.

“I believe you have to protect your relationship with God more than any other, Charlotte. Whether you believe in God or not, whether you think God is terrible, truly divine, or absolutely nonexistent, it is the most sacred and intimate relationship we have in our lives.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the definition of God. It’s just something within. That’s what I believe.”

“Have I asked you to marry me?” he said sleepily. We were back on.
“Every day,” I replied.
“Well . . .”
“I always say not yet.”
Adam was dozing off and slurring when he said, “Why?”
I’m certain he was asleep when I finally replied, “Because I don’t want you to stop asking.”

You know when you’re looking at someone and you can’t help but smile at how oblivious they are to their own charm? That’s what was happening to me, and it was making me feel . . . happy. Euphoric. Something indescribable. It was like we already knew each other, like we had met in a previous life. Memories that didn’t exist began exploding in my mind like fireworks.

I’m talking about that period between fifteen and your late twenties when you think your parents are the most fucked-up people because they’re slightly flawed.

Rules are for people with the luxury of time.

“He asked for an avocado al dente. Who the fuck uses the term ‘al dente’ to describe an avocado?”

“I am totally in love with you, not because you’re here right now or because you’ve taken care of me; it’s because when you laugh, it sounds like pure joy. It’s because you walk super fast with your head down, and when you stop to look up, you seem surprised every time. Like the world is surprising you with its beauty. I love the way you see the world, Charlotte. That’s why I love you. When I thought of you looking at Starry Night, it wasn’t just that it was brighter to me; it was that I knew it would seem brighter to you. You don’t know how beautiful that quality is. You’re already so beautiful and kind, but then you have this hope and promise in your eyes, too. And you’re also the sexiest woman I have ever known.”