Dedicated

By making commitments, we may miss out on the latest novelty. But by not making commitments, we will definitely miss out on the deep joy that can only come ten years (or perhaps even ten minutes!) into an experience to which we dedicate our full attention.

Infinite Browsing Mode comes with a cost: When we spend our time frantically seeking out new experiences, we miss out on the deeper experiences that can only arise from sticking with something for a long time.

People want to be held accountable, because accountability gives us meaning.

But anomie is not just about a lack of community. It’s also about the lack of regulation—a lack of cultural norms, moral guidance, and rules. And it’s not just friends that people are craving. We’re also craving the accountability that comes with being part of a mission-driven community. Warm feelings are not enough—we also want expectations to meet, aspirations to seek, and honor to earn.

Everybody is pining for meaningful community these days.

The antidote to anomie is authentic community. We need people who share our general sense of meaning, who we care for and about, and who in turn care for and about us. And when authentic community is something we’re missing—especially when it’s something we’ve had before—we feel its absence.

Anomie is not the despair of losing a game but the despair of not having a scoreboard—not the despair of being lost on a journey but the despair of having no worthwhile destination.

We have difficulty making meaning out of life without outside help.

Without that flexibility, there’s no exploration—and if there’s no exploration, you never get the chance to find out who you are.

We act like browsers, we love committers, and we’re too scared to make the jump—so we’re stuck.