Jennae Cecelia

Will today be the day that

everything changes?

Things can not possibly

get worse,

can they?

Because I know I hit rock bottom

so that must mean

things can only get better.

But what if my rock bottom

just keeps moving locations

and I am in rock bottom forever?

I think I have grown

too comfortable with

getting another tomorrow.

So much so that

I waste today.

People would call me calm

like a slow breeze on a Sunday afternoon.

Little did they know my mind was always

feeling like a typhoon.

I hid my weather well.

I get so upset because

I have already played it

over and over in my mind.

The thing I fear the most

is not getting to do

all the things I truly would

like to do if fear did not

live in my mind.

You may feel the most lost

in a place that should

feel like home.

You may feel the most at home

in a place you barely know.

You say that it seems like

I have the strength

of tall ocean waves.

But what you do not know

is that I am holding back

what feels like

ocean waves,

this constant force.

I think I have grown

too comfortable with

getting another tomorrow.

So much so that

I waste today.