The Power of Regret

If our lives are the stories we tell ourselves, regret reminds us that we have a dual role. We are both the authors and the actors. We can shape the plot but not fully. We can toss aside the script but not always. We live at the intersection of free will and circumstance.

At Least It. Find the silver lining: think about how the situation could have turned out worse and appreciate that it didn’t.

If we know what we truly regret, we know what we truly value. Regret—that maddening, perplexing, and undeniably real emotion—points the way to a life well lived.

In many circumstances, anticipating our regrets can lead to healthier behavior, smarter professional choices, and greater happiness.
Yet when we anticipate our regrets, we frequently overestimate them, buying emotional insurance we don’t need and thereby distorting our decisions.

Our goal should not be to always minimize regret. Our goal should be to optimize it.

solution is to focus our aspirations.

that constantly trying to anticipate and minimize our regrets can become a form of unhealthy maximizing. Applying this framework at all times and in all realms is a recipe for despair.

maximizers’ increased sensitivity to regret—both experienced and anticipated.” Maximizers regretted everything at every stage. Before they made their choices. After they made their choices. While they made their choices. Whatever the situation, they always imagined the possibilities of something better if only they had acted differently.

Most maximizers were miserable. The maximizers reported “significantly less life satisfaction, happiness, [and] optimism” and significantly more depression than the satisficers.

Getting a problem wrong as a result of going against one’s first instinct is more memorable than getting a problem wrong because of failing to go against one’s first instinct