Reality Therapy

the time any person comes for psychiatric help he is lacking the most critical factor for fulfilling his needs, a person whom he genuinely cares about and who he feels genuinely cares about him

people who have any kind of serious psychiatric problem are at that time lacking the proper involvement with someone—and, lacking that involvement, are unable to satisfy their needs.

Unless he can give up the sour-grapes attitude, face reality, and admit to himself that the grapes are probably sweet and that he must try harder to reach them, he will never fulfill his needs.

He must become motivated to change his behavior because as long as he shuns people, he will continue to suffer

Trying to tell ourselves that we do not need other people, we are like the fox who momentarily feels less pain when she walks away muttering, “Sour grapes

if we are unable to love, we may shun people to avoid the pain of being in contact with those we cannot admit to ourselves that we need because we are afraid of rejection

But, whether we are loved or not, to be worthwhile we must maintain a satisfactory standard of behavior

The child knows the difference between right and wrong behavior and is frustrated because receiving love for behavior that he knows is wrong does not allow him to feel worthwhile. In this situation, he reacts in all the familiar spoiled-child patterns in an effort to get his parents to enforce some behavioral limits and some achievement standards along with their love. When the parents do so, the child’s behavior improves.

From birth to old age we need to love and be loved. Throughout our lives, our health and our happiness will depend upon our ability to do so. To either love or to allow ourselves to be loved is not enough; we must do both. When we cannot satisfy our total need for love, we will without fail suffer and react with many familiar psychological symptoms

Psychiatry must be concerned with two basic psychological needs: the need to love and be loved and the need to feel that we are worthwhile to ourselves and to others