Rilke on Love

We may have suspected it, though it may never have been shown to us as clearly, that the essence of love does not consist in togetherness but in the way one individual compels the other to become something, become infinitely great, become the most for which his powers may suffice.

In marriage, in my opinion, the point is not to achieve a rapid union by tearing down and toppling all boundaries. Rather, the good marriage is the kind where each person appoints the other as guardian of his solitude, and thus demonstrates to the other person the greatest faith he can bestow. The being-together of two human beings is an impossibility and, where it nonetheless seems to be present, it is a limitation, a mutual agreement that robs one or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. Yet once it is recognized that even among the closest individuals there extend infinite distances, a wonderful coexistence can develop when they succeed in loving the vastness between them, which affords them the possibility of seeing each other as complete figures before a great sky!

There is only one deadly mistake we can make: to attach ourselves to another human being, even if only for an instant.