The Xenophobe's Guide to the Finns

Withdrawal symptoms can be severe if access to the sauna is denied for a prolonged period of time. This can be seen most clearly at the Helsinki-Vantaa airport luggage collection point. Finns returning home from abroad are frantically ringing their families. Instead of saying, ‘Hello darling, I’ve missed you,’ they blurt out with desperation in their voices, ‘Heat the sauna. I’ll be home soon!’

No ‘please’ (there is no such word in Finnish)