You Know You're a Writer When

You know you're a writer when
… You'll never forgive your parents for your happy childhood.
… The doctor tells you that you have terminal cancer and you think, “I can use this.”
… You accidentally sign a check with your pen name.
… You know more than ten synonyms for “blue.”
… You write your Christmas letter as if it were War and Peace.
Many readers will recognize themselves in this collection of observations about the eccentric, quirky, word-obsessed condition that is being a writer.