The Confidence Effect

When you run into really truly confident people, you feel it because they make it about you, not them.

I’m strong, I’m able, and I’m calm.’

Speak up and say what you mean. Find your voice and your power. Stop waiting for everything to be perfect before you speak up and state your case. Be willing to say what you think and then watch and listen for the reactions in the room. Use your voice in a powerful way and begin to build your confidence by practicing the skill or presenting to small and large groups.

I could go on, but the point here is this: You are the CEO of your own career, and the kinds of things that we do in terms of preparing ourselves for that make all the difference, not only in how we lead but for which organization.

Know yourself, know your goals, know your desires and passion, and make that the target of your goals and plans moving forward. It doesn’t have to be the “top.” It’s okay to say you want to be a VP or senior VP as opposed to the CEO of a large corporation. Whatever the ultimate goal, know what will be expected of you in that position. Just like my client who thoroughly researched the job description and unwritten expectations of being head of HR, know the ins and outs of what you’re shooting for to make sure that you’re fully equipped once your goal is met.

I know who I am and I’m not concerned with who you think I am

I know it often seems quite the opposite, but the fact is your fear is 100 percent reliant on you feeding it. The more afraid you are, the more you feed the anxiety, pressure, and fear that made you afraid in the first place. As you begin to feel more and more fear, you begin to experience more and more self-doubt.

Your fear doesn’t control you; you control your fear.

Recently, I worked with a leadership team. When we administered the Birkman assessment to identify passions, behaviors, motivation, and interests, 80 percent of the team showed a significant amount of stress around the topic of change.

All too often, we don’t try something because we don’t think we can do it perfectly and we won’t look as good as everyone else. This is a great time to remember to focus on progress, not perfection. When I went skydiving, my internal story was not obvious to everyone around me. I could have easily missed an amazing life experience if I was too worried about how I wasn’t going to do it like everyone else. But I jumped and I landed and that’s all that matters. I trusted myself, I trusted my instructor, and I was willing to do what it took to make it work.