Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives

We face two kinds of expectations: outer expectations (meet work deadlines, observe traffic regulations) and inner expectations (stop napping, keep a New Year’s resolution). From my observation, just about everyone falls into one of four distinct groups:
Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations.
Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified.
Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations (my friend on the track team).
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.

Generally, I’ve observed, we seek changes that fall into the “Essential Seven.” People—including me—most want to foster the habits that will allow them to:
1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol)
2. Exercise regularly
3. Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, stick to a budget)
4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (stop watching TV in bed, turn off a cell phone, spend time in nature, cultivate silence, get enough sleep, spend less time in the car)
5. Accomplish more, stop procrastinating (practice an instrument, work without interruption, learn a language, maintain a blog)
6. Simplify, clear, clean, and organize (make the bed, file regularly, put keys away in the same place, recycle)
7. Engage more deeply in relationships—with other people, with God, with the world (call friends, volunteer, have more sex, spend more time with family, attend religious services)

Habits mean we don’t strain ourselves to make decisions, weigh choices, dole out rewards, or prod ourselves to begin. Life becomes simpler, and many daily hassles vanish. Because I don’t have to think about the multistep process of putting in my contact lenses, I can think about the logistical problems posed by the radiator leak in my home office.

Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control.

For familiarity lovers, a habit becomes easier as it becomes familiar.

Some people love familiarity; some love novelty. I’m definitely in the familiarity camp

hat’s the trap of procrastination, and taking the first step is a way to escape. I

things often get harder before they get easier—but I’d started.

Tomorrow logic wastes time, and also it may allow us to deny that our current actions clash with our intentions.

but eventually the future arrives, and then we’re stuck.