The Art of Letting Go

treating oneself with the same kindness, caring, and understanding that someone would offer to a good friend.

The dichotomy of control is a central concept in Stoic philosophy that emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between things that are within one’s control and things that are beyond one’s control.

Sarah can also try using language that reflects a third-person perspective, just like John in the previous case. For example, instead of saying "I am so angry right now," she can say "Sarah is feeling angry." This simple change in language can help create mental distance between herself and her feelings, allowing her to observe the situation more objectively.

From this perspective, Sarah is able to see that her partner is also feeling hurt and upset, and that both of them are contributing to the conflict. She is able to suspend some of her immediate emotional reactions and take a more objective view of the situation. This allows her to consider her behavior and communication more carefully, and to make more deliberate choices that can help de-escalate the conflict and move toward resolution.

For example, if individuals are engaged in an emotionally charged argument with another person, taking a break and gaining distance can allow them to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a more objective and reflective manner. This can promote greater self-awareness, insight, and empathy, and help individuals identify strategies for resolving the conflict in a more constructive and adaptive manner.

whenever those negative thoughts bubbled up inside her mind, instead of listening to them, she would take a deep breath and focus on the positive possibilities ahead of her instead. She would think about what life could look like without the judgments clouding it over—full of courage, possibility, and joy!

describing the situation factually, individuals can gain a clearer understanding of the situation and begin to recognize the negative judgments they make.

They can take action where they can and accept the things they cannot change.

People should strive to act in accordance with their rational desires and to avoid acting impulsively or irresponsibly.

They should strive to avoid making judgments based on emotions, biases, or prejudices.

Epictetus believed in the importance of using the three faculties of the mind wisely. Specifically, he outlined the "dichotomy of control," which highlights these faculties as essential to one’s well-being. The faculty of judgment governs the way people think, feel, and believe. The faculty of desire guides one's desires and fears. The faculty of will directs one’s intentions, decisions, and actions. Using these faculties in proper balance can allow people to live a fulfilling and virtuous life. Epictetus' teachings are a reminder that people have the power to shape their own experiences and must take responsibility for their thoughts and actions in order to live a happy and meaningful life.