Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors

“actions speak louder than words”

Projection is a defense mechanism that can cause considerable damage and chaos if not understood for what it is. In this case, we place unwanted and unclaimed feelings onto someone or something else rather than seeing that they are a part of ourselves. We do not recognize our own “dark side” and project it onto others, blaming them for our shortcomings or seeing our flaws in their actions.

Even the least emotionally and socially intelligent people can learn something about other people if they engage with them long enough.

denial and rationalization.

dark exists because of light

we look for patterns.

Another way that smart people can come to not-so-smart conclusions about others is if they fail to establish a baseline. The guy in front of you may be making lots of eye contact, smiling often, complimenting you, nodding, even touching your arm occasionally. You could conclude that this guy must really like you, until you realize that this is how he is with every person he meets. He in fact is showing you no interest above his normal baseline, so all your observations don’t quite lead where they ordinarily would.

Analysis can only happen with data—not a single datum—and it can only happen when we are able to see broader trends.

we cannot take a single statement, facial expression, behavior, or moment to tell us something definitive about the whole person.

you remember all those times your assessments were correct and ignore or downplay the times you clearly got it wrong.