Improve Your Conversations

Chapter 13: Use HPM
A secret weapon
History
Philosophy
Metaphor

he point is that you need to flow with a conversation, letting it move and evolve and carry you along,

Rule of Improv Comedy: In response to someone else’s suggestion, thought, or topic, always say “Yes, AND…” which means that you drop your train of thought, adopt theirs, and add something to keep the conversation flowing.

his compels some people to have a script in their heads every time they talk to others in an attempt to make it less unpredictable and more comfortable. However, that of course takes you away from the present and the person in front of you.

If you can turn your boring, job-focused conversation into something enjoyable for both parties, then they will enjoy being around you more and subsequently open up to you more. If you make it your goal to first and foremost create a playful and fun atmosphere within your conversations, avoiding interview mode and small talk, you will be able to achieve your other goals, like obtaining a job or promotion, far more easily.

We could stand to play a bit more, since play takes people’s guards down and sets the stage for actual connection.

mixture of fun, pleasure, connection and entertainment are at the top of that list.

what’s been lost is the seemingly simple revelation that conversation should actually be fun and enjoyable. What makes really good conversation sparkle the way it does? It’s not planned, it’s not serious, it’s not forced. It’s closer to flirting or spontaneous dancing to good music than it is to a meeting or a performance.

Flexibility and the ability to adapt are paramount to any great conversation. Good conversation is alive and breathing, and it needs to flow.

When you try to “choreograph” a conversation too tightly, it dies, there and then