Relationship Goals

God wants you to be self-aware in your singleness. This means recognizing your own faults and shortcomings so that you can allow Him to work on those areas and pray that your future spouse is doing the same, wherever that person is.

I am living proof that marriage pulls the sheet back on who you really are. I’ve been married for years, and my wife is still pointing out insecurities in my life that I didn’t even know were there. “Oh, you’re comparing yourself with others,” she’ll tell me. “Don’t forget who you are.”

In singleness, you get the opportunity to learn the good things about yourself—your love for travel, your desire to give back to your community, and your commitment to healthy living, for instance. But you also get to discover the bad things about yourself—like your overspending habits, your excessive desire for attention, and your fear of failure. No matter how ugly the process may get, like Anhayla’s song says, “U Gotta Love Yourself” (U.G.L.Y.).

couple minutes later, Natalie walked out of the QuikTrip with one cup and one doughnut. I couldn’t believe it. Although I never asked Natalie to buy me a drink, I’d been sure she would since we’d been talking about how hot it was. And here she was with no drink for me. To make matters worse, her drink was sweet tea—a drink I don’t even like. So we couldn’t even share the one drink.
When Natalie got back in the car, I was fuming. I watched as she took long sips of her “selfish” tea. It’s like I blacked out and the next thing I knew, she took a bite of her doughnut. I grabbed her doughnut and chunked it out the window, then put the van in gear and blew out of the parking lot.
You can imagine the argument. Date night was ruined. Actually, the next two days were ruined, because that’s how long it took us to get over being mad at each other.
What really went wrong here was an unspoken expectation. I had never said I wanted Natalie to buy me a drink and snack; I had assumed she would.