Make Difficult People Disappear

Our gift choices are more often about us then they are about the person for whom we’re buying that gift, and the same is true of our communication effort with respect to the CORE attributes and our natural tendencies.”

you merely want to remind yourself of what motivates the other person the most and then strategize a bit before you have the conversation

Again, it is a behavior, usually brought on by stress, not a way of being for you or those other people. You all manage to work together beautifully until there’s a major challenge or change or stressful event; and now that you understand some of the behaviors and some of the triggers, it would serve you well to look at how someone is behaving differently, yes?”

We’ve all developed a strong set of coping skills and mechanisms, but when the stuff really hits the fan, how we cope will likely reflect who we naturally are—and our most dominant natural trait.

How is it that Commanders can appear so coldhearted and yet be the very same folks often promoted into leadership and able to perform the role so successfully? Cybil believed she wasn’t as “next” focused or task focused as the trainer described, and she hoped the trainer would address that.

Even after she asked him what his opinion was or what he thought, giving him a full 30 seconds to respond, he would decline to engage in the conversation and would say he had nothing to share.

was almost as if there were items to be checked off of her list: Share opinion, have argument, check, check! Once that was done, she could move on and often did. It wasn’t intended to be cold or disrespectful or inconsiderate of Dave’s needs, but it just didn’t make logical sense to her to share any more thoughts on the matter or discuss it further once she said what she needed to say. She assumed that he would also say what he needed to say at that moment, and if he said nothing, the assumption was he had nothing to share. However, it took him usually about three solid days to bring up the issue

They shared things that Relaters may do when under stress, such as becoming quiet, acting in a passive-aggressive manner, and whining, all of which were on the handout they were looking at. Not surprisingly, Rick remained quiet and seemed concerned that he might be called on again.

What do Relaters do when they are angry or under exceptional stress?”

Relaters really struggle, because they typically take these types of behaviors from the Commanders very personally