Me before You

His eyes met mine in a long, angry silence.

face turn red.

Clark,

It will be autumn now. I hope the coffee is good and the bread is warm, and that it is still sunny enough to sit outside. There are a few things that I want to say.

When you get back to England, take this letter to Michael Lawler. He has money for you. It is enough to pay for the college course you talked about and living costs while you are studying. It will also buy you somewhere nice to live.

I am not giving this money to you to say thank you. I'm giving it to you because there is not much that makes me happy anymore, but you do. I want to know that I have helped you to live a good life, a better life. Knowing this helps me. You are braver than you think you are, Clark.

I can see it. So please live well, wear those black-and-yellow tights and be happy.

You have touched my heart. You did it the first day you arrived, with your crazy clothes and your bad jokes.

You changed my life much more than this money will ever change yours.

Don't be sad. Just live well.

Love, Will

Funnily enough, Clark, mine t

I've changed my mind, and I have to go," I told her. "I've changed because of him, Treena. It's because of him that I have started to think about going to college. I love him, and he has to decide what's best for him. But I don't want him to be alone when he dies."

On the last night, Will and I went to the beach together. Nathan was out with his girlfriend. I was wearing a white dress, and I had a flower in my hair. The night was warm, and I could smell the sea. We sat under our favourite tree.

"Are you glad that you came?" I asked.

He nodded. "Oh, yes. You are wonderful, Clark."

I looked at him, and then I moved forward and kissed him, and he kissed me back. And just for a moment, I could smell his skin and feel his soft hair under my fingers, and it was just Will and me on this beautiful island, with the night sky above us.

Then, suddenly, he pulled back. "I can't," he said.

"Why? I don't understand," I replied.

He swallowed. "Because I can't be the man I want to be with you."

I continued to hold his face in my hands. "Listen, Will, I know about Dignitas. I don't care what you can and can't do. I know this isn't a normal love story. But I love you, Will. I knew it when I left Patrick. And I think you love me, too."

For a moment, he just looked at me. Then he said, very quietly, "I'm sorry. It's not enough."

"I don't understand."

"I know that this could be a good life," he went on.

"Maybe very good with you around. But it's not my life. I loved my life before the accident, Clark. I liked riding my motorbike. I liked climbing mountains and bungee jumping. I don't want to live in this wheelchair. I'm going to get more and more ill. You saw what I was like in the hospital when I had that infection."

I was crying now. "Please, Will, don't say this. Please try."

"No," he said. "I'm going to Dignitas on 13th August, and if you really love me, you will come with me."

I stood up then. "No," I said. "I tell you that I love you, but you want me to come and watch you kill yourself?"

"Louisa..."

"Don't!" I shouted. "Don't say another word. How can you ask me to do that? Why did I take this stupid job?" And then I ran up the beach and back to my hotel room.

And then at 10 p.m. the slow dances started. We watched Lissa and Rupert move around the dance floor. When the dance finished, more people joined them.

I turned to Will. "Would you like to dance?" I said. "Come on, let's give these people something to talk about." Then I sat carefully across Will's knees and lifted my arms around his neck. He looked into my eyes for a moment, then drove himself on to the dance floor and started moving in small circles. I closed my eyes and put my face against his. I could hear him singing to the music.

I opened my eyes for a moment and saw Lissa watching us over Will's shoulder. Her face was angry and unhappy. As soon as she saw me watching her, she turned away and said something to Rupert, who shook his head.

"Do you know something, Clark?" Will said.

I lifted my head and looked into his eyes.

"Sometimes you are the only thing that makes me want to wake up in the morning."

"Then let's go somewhere," I said, quickly, before I could think about it.

"What?"

"Let's have a week together somewhere where we can have fun," I continued. "Just you and me. Please say yes."

His eyes did not leave mine. "OK," he said, finally.

wills and probate.

But you didn't think. You did what everyone always does... You decided what I wanted to do, and you didn't ask me." Then he turned his chair away from me and went into his bedroom.

the sound of my skirt tearing