Addicted to You

“Please, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I did this,” I cry.

“I’ve chosen sex over family functions hundreds of times. Even when I know it’s wrong, I keep doing it. Before I was with Lo, I used to convince myself that I’d stop all of the time. The next morning, I’d pop up another porn site. And I’d start all over again.” My arms tremble. “What does that sound like to you?”

Her eyes stay wide in thought. “You’re addicted.”

Because we have a system that cannot be disrupted.

We’ve been cut off from snide glances and hateful words like “slut, drunkard, loser” for so long that he fears going back to that place.

and Connor drops by unannounced—for no reason at all other than to share a beer with Lo. I’m starting to believe he likes hanging around us.

“Loren Hale fucks better.”

No one has ever looked at me like this.

wrap my arms around her, hugging for a long, long time. To say thanks, I’m sorry, and “I love you,” I whisper.
She strokes my hair. “I love you too.”

and I agreed to keep my addiction quiet from our parents and sisters. It’s not something that people can easily accept or understand, and I don’t want to spend my days justifying these compulsions. If Rose also thinks it’s for the best, then I must be making a sound decision.

“You’re going to rehab,” I say assuredly, even though a pain weighs on my chest. I know this is the right thing. For both of us.
“I can’t leave you.” He drops his hand. “It could be months, Lily. I don’t want you with another guy…”
“I’m going to be strong,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine. I squeeze. “I’m going to go to therapy.”
“Lily…” His pained voice sends daggers to my heart.
“I’m going to move in with Rose.”