Kathleen Glasgow

The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets. I need release, I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.

I’m so lonely in the world I want to peel all of my flesh off and walk, just bone and gristle, straight into the river, to be swallowed, just like my father.

sometimes I miss my mother, even though missing her feels more like anger than sadness,

The cereal is eating me. The cereal is eating me alive.

I’m scared, because I don’t know how to be with people, but I don’t know how to be alone, either,

I just don’t think I matter.

I mean, we spent so much time wasted back home, do you realize that? We were fucked up all the time.”

“I know. Some of it was fun, though.” I smile.

“Yeah, but sometimes you have to let stuff go if you want to move forward, you know?

I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.

Your job here is you. We are all here to get better, aren’t we?”

I wasn’t scared. I’d just never seen a girl with skin like mine.