Young love is brutal. School sucks. So why did my best friend, Ugga, choose to invent both of them?

The answer is funny and exciting and every upright, two-legged human type should want to read about it. It is true I spent much of my youth knocking heads with toothy dinosaurs, saber tooth kitty cats and man-eating birds. None of that prepared me for surviving my teenage years. Collecting battle scars and inventing ways to pass the time was sweet until those demonic creatures showed up. They were beasts that Ugga named ‘girls’. There was no returning to the simple pleasure of survival.

This the story of myself and my best friend, the greatest genius of all times (GGOAT). We were prehistoric hooligans. We have so much to answer for. Like Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, Ugga and I can find adventure and laughs in the simple act of survival while teenage girls just seem to get in the way.

Mark Cain, author of the hilarious “Circles In Hell” series, says that when you read my tale of teenage romance “be prepared for over-the-top silliness, along with a fair share of dinosaurs and Ice Age mammals, not to mention science that has been knocked completely on its head.”

As I told my children “Prehistoric truth is not always convenient or fun, and it usually leaves scars. But I saw what I saw and I know what I know.”

My childhood was simply irreverent, riotous and hilarious, with slightly inappropriate laugh out loud moments like you would find in Diary of a Whimpy Kid. Listen and HEAR!

Matthew Turner