Rachel Cohn

his year I had managed to become a voluntary orphan for Christmas, telling my mother that I was spending it with my father, and my father that I was spending it with my mother, so that each of them booked nonrefundable vacations with their post-divorce paramours

’ve left some clues for you.
If you want them, turn the page.
If you don’t, put the book back on the shelf, please.

And it’s not entirely true that I’ve never been in love. I had a pet gerbil in rst grade, Spazzy, whom I loved passionately.

hope I never love someone so much that they could hurt me the way Langston was hurt,

Well sure, who doesn’t need a boyfriend? But realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.

5. Look for the warm woolen mittens with the reindeer on them, please.

So that’s why it was my best Christmas. Because it was the last one when I really believed.

It was one of those moments when you feel the future so much that it humbles the present.

“Don’t worry. It’s your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.”

I was at empting to write the story of my life. It wasn’t so much about plot. It was much more about character.