Becca Ritchie

Left door goes to Azkaban. Right to Mordor.”

Sarcasm is just written in his DNA. Equipped with verbal pitchforks at birth.

“I’m not a kid, you troll.”

“First time I got drunk, I passed out in my own piss,” Quinn says. “Don’t ask.”

This isn’t a welcome to my life sitcom. This is a you’ve joined my life drama or possibly, a horror story.

“That’s cute that you’re pretending you can go to the store without me.”

But the more he tries to protect himself, the more we’re going to have a problem.

Let my childhood-crush-also-turned-bodyguard pick out my lube for me

Maybe I shouldn’t have dropped out of Harvard.

Jane owned five cats: Walrus, Carpenter, Toodles, Ophelia, and Lady Macbeth.