Dizz Tate

We would not be born out of sweetness, we were born out of rage, we felt it in our bones.

being gone is our only wish, we could not say where to, only that we will be happier there than here.

how ridiculous that is, that I’ve spent five years of my life valuing everything I see in terms of how much enjoyment he will get out of it, constantly sending him dumb reminders to love me.

All these facts about myself that had rattled around inside me unnoticed were suddenly his to witness. To be loved was just to be watched, or in my case, to imagine you are loved is to imagine you are watched all the time.

I imagined he was obsessed with me and so I was obsessed with myself.

I did what I always did, which was to disappear for a few months, then text, miss you!!!!! with no explanation.

It has been so long that I can’t believe I was ever that comfortable with another person, that I could touch another body with no fear or care.

I decide I would rather be crazy if it means we can at least be crazy together.

but if I’ve learned anything it’s that even movement becomes another kind of stillness if you force it to last too long.

We feel maniacal with hope.