Cecelia Ahern

ord had reached my mother,

It was wishful thinking on her part for a trendy homosexual son who would never replace her with another woman.

Your greys show; you get your colour done.

Well, you’ve let yourself go a little, haven’t you

sounding like a petulant teen

Hello,’ she said in a who are you kind of way.

wondered what the clipboard would say about the Mayan 2012 beliefs, or if it wasn’t on the list it didn’t count.

He’s like the Pinky and I’m the Brain,

two years in a row.

Again we’re having metaphor issues.