John Gottman

en have no problem with a woman expressing those emotions.

The goal is to understand the unique, amazing, annoying, complex, frustrating, fascinating person you are in a relationship with

A woman’s needs and emotions can vary throughout her menstrual cycle, although the differences may be extreme for some women and barely noticeable for others

These hormonal peaks and valleys and cyclical changes in a woman’s emotional state can alter her desire for, and receptiveness to, sex.

s also important to know that this fluctuating need for an alpha and a beta male at any given time does not mean a woman needs two different men

What makes a relationship most vulnerable to betrayal is avoiding conflict and hiding parts of yourself so you don’t “rock the boat.”

The failure of repair attempts is an accurate marker for an unhappy future.

After tracking the lives of happily married couples for as long as twenty years, I now know that the key to reviving or divorce-proofing a relationship is not simply how you handle your disagreements but how you engage with each other when you’re not fighting

ike many complaints, it has three parts: (1) Here’s how I feel (“I’m really angry”); (2) About a very specific situation (“you didn’t sweep last night”); (3) And here’s what I need/want/prefer (“Could you do it now?”).

One or both partners may have only the sketchiest sense of the other’s joys, likes, dislikes, fears, stresses. The husband may love modern art, but his wife couldn’t tell you why or who his favorite artist is. He doesn’t remember the names of her friends or the coworker she fears is constantly trying to undermine her.