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coming upon him with such suddenness and passion as to resemble a seizure, almost a hallucination. Desire projected itself visually: his fancy, not quite yet lulled since morning, imaged the marvels and terrors of the manifold earth.
busy with the tasks imposed upon him by his own ego and the European soul, too laden with the care and duty to create, too preoccupied to be an amateur of the gay outer world, he had been content to know as much of the earth's surface as he could without stirring far outside his own sphere-had, indeed, never even been tempted to leave Europe.
In his youth, indeed, the nature and inmost essence of the literary gift had been, to him, this very scrupulosity; for it he had bridled and tempered his sensibilities, knowing full well that feeling is prone to be content with easy gains and blithe half-perfection
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Рассказ (рассказ!) ввел меня в кризис — вот это сила.
«– Видите ли, Ашенбах всегда жил только вот этак, – тут он стиснул левую руку в кулак, – и никогда вот так, – и он разжал пальцы, расслабленно уронив руку на подлокотник кресла.» — ну это же я ровно.
В общем, быть можно либо стоиком, либо поэтом. По Манну — нельзя быть in the middle. По современной психологии — конечно можно. Захотелось резко добавить себе «бездну» в жизни.
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