Bookouture

is one of the most important people in my life, not some hotter-than-a-house-on-fire bombshell from a movie poster. I know her. She’s a sweet, sassy, intelligent, beautiful-on-the-inside, real person. And… Oh my god. She is my type! She is the standard by which I assess every other woman on the planet. Oh, this is so effin’ bad. I need to get out of here. Bring the damn check, please!

I’d pick you, Kendall. You are, in every possible sense of the word, the most breathtaking woman I have ever met. That would be the most truthful answer I could give, but I know when to keep the truth to my damn self. “You know that X-Men movie, the one where Xavier can still walk?”

Kendall furrows her eyebrows at me as if to say ‘yeah, and?’

“The actress who played Mystique in that. Hello, blue body

There’s a lot to be said about Kendall Bettencourt. She’s one of those people who were put on this earth so that the average human can give the word ‘beauty’ a definition. Between having the body of a Victoria’s Secret model and a face that should be immortalized in a Da Vinci painting, she never stood a chance at living her life in the shadows. It didn’t really come as much of a surprise

‘Wait a minute. All that was for one tree?’

‘It was only one tree, but it was two hundred years old. And, remember, the tree’s only crime was to grow directly in front of the view some corporate fat cat wanted to enjoy two weeks a year when he holidayed here.’

‘You spent six months working to save one tree.’

‘You’re missing the point, Callum. Yes it was one tree. But it represented something to this community, and we stopped one guy and his big fat chequebook from demolishing it. And you know what? In a hundred years’ time that developer will be long gone and the tree will still be there. And we did that.’