Worth Books

t’s much more productive to be okay with feeling bad about certain things—and then let the feeling go.

The fact that we feel bad about so many things shows that we give too many fucks about too many things. Better, then, to accept our disappointments and focus our time and energy on things we can do. To not give a fuck is to accept our circumstances and our lives. It doesn’t mean that we’ve given up or that we shouldn’t try to improve our station; it simply means that just because we don’t have the best car, the most fulfilling job, or the most Instagram-worthy party pictures, our lives aren’t complete failures. When we give fewer fucks about achieving wildly unrealistic and unlikely goals, we free ourselves from our own exhausting expectations. And, ironically, the peace we gain from this process will provide more clarity. It will show us which things we should truly give a fuck about.

Not giving a fuck” is about letting go of the stuff you can’t control. Focusing your concern (fucks) on things that you can do, no matter how small, is much more productive.

Happiness comes from accepting failure and working sincerely to overcome it.

Much of our misery is caused by valuing the wrong things or valuing things without thought.

Manson concluded that maybe he was measuring his relationship incorrectly.

Sometimes life absolutely sucks, and we must acknowledge it head-on if we want to get past it.

If we give a fuck about something, this means that we don’t give a fuck about something else, and we must say no to the thing about which no fucks are given.

Here, Manson argues against popular conceptions of happiness. He opens the chapter with an instructive story about the Buddha’s life and his insights. The Buddha (who was a real-life figure) grew up in a palace where all of his needs were met and everything was always harmonious and beautiful. One day, however, he decided to leave the palace and explore the outside world. He was absolutely shocked to see people suffering, a state of being that had been hidden from him all of his life. The experience was unsettling to say the least. He left his family, never to return, in search of life’s meaning. He tried living in abject poverty for a while, but that didn’t teach him much—except that living in abject poverty really, really sucks, and that doing it voluntarily, for no greater purpose, is silly. After some time, he came to a realization (one of the central tenets of Buddhism): “Life itself is a form of suffering.” This is true for everyone, no matter his or her circumstances. The important corollary is that “pain and loss are inevitable and we should let go of trying to resist them.”

Need to Know: We can’t determine what will happen to us, but we can decide how we react to it. We’re only as powerless as we feel.