John Gray

When a man feels appreciated for listening and he doesn’t feel rejected for not sharing more, he will gradually begin to open up. When he feels as though he doesn’t have to talk more, then naturally he will. But first he needs to feel accepted. If she is still frustrated by his silence she is forgetting that men are from Mars!

When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, common symptoms are increased moodiness, irritability, passiveness, and defensiveness. Jim had not learned how to pull away. He felt guilty spending time alone. He thought he was supposed to share everything with his wife.

There are two ways a woman may unknowingly obstruct her male partner’s natural intimacy cycle. They are: (1) chasing him when he pulls away; and (2) punishing him for pulling away.

The following is a list of the most common ways a woman “chases a man” and prevents him from pulling away.

To initiate a conversation the wise woman learns not to demand that a man talk but asks that he truly listen to her. As her emphasis changes, the pressure on him is released. She learns to open up and share her feelings without demanding that he do the same.

When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies.

Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.

Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. We have forgotten that men and women are supposed to be different. As a result our relationships are filled with unnecessary friction and conflict.

Clearly recognizing and respecting these differences dramatically
reduces confusion when dealing with the opposite sex.

With new insight you have the added wisdom

and power to change your approach rather

than seeking to change your partner.

Most of the time she just needs more understanding and affection and her heart will warm up again and her eyes will begin to sparkle.

Gender differences show up the most after

getting involved in an intimate relationship,

having children together, or when we are

under a lot of stress.