Gabor Mate

In many children—and I was certainly one—early reactions like these become embedded in the nervous system, mind, and body, playing havoc with future relationships.

The home becomes a place where we unwittingly re-create, as I did, scenarios reminiscent of those that wounded us when we were small.

he research literature has identified three factors that universally lead to stress: uncertainty, the lack of information and the loss of control

She grew up believing she had to take care of everybody. “There was never any respite in her,” says Neufeld. “There was no internal resting place.”

the child it is no relief to feel sadness or anger if no one is there to receive those emotions and to provide some comfort and containment

Rage and anguish exist underneath the veneer of niceness, no matter how sincerely a person mistakes the facade for her true self.

It was a multi-layered scenario. As usual, the most public layer was also the most superficial one

“Extreme suppression of anger” was the most commonly identified characteristic of breast cancer patients in a 1974 British study

What you’ve assumed toward your dad is a maternal role. Which is also why you’ve been taken for granted. Mother is taken for granted. Mother is like the world—she’s just supposed to be there and provide.”

Adults with a history of troubled childhoods may not encounter more serious losses than others do, but their ability to cope will have been impaired by their upbringing